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The movie Deep Water _was released last week on the streaming platform Hulu. Starring Ben Affleck and Ana De Armas, the movie is based on a 1957 psychological thriller by the same name penned by _Talented Mr. Ripley Author Patrica Highsmith. The plot follows a married couple locked in a loveless marriage characterized by jealousy, suspected infidelity and possibly…

…murder? (imagine the camera just zoomed into my face and I have my finger to my bottom lip, Dr. Evil style)

Another thing about this movie that’s important to know is that it sucks. It sucks through and through. It looks washed out, the camera work is pedestrian at best, the acting alternates between flatness and unconvincing hysteria. I was pretty miserable watching it and only made it through 43 minutes before giving up.

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Deep Water was directed by an Englishman named Adrian Lyne who once upon a time was a veritable hit movie making factory, helming box office smashes like Flashdance, 9½ Weeks, Fatal Attraction, Jacob's Ladder _and _Indecent Proposal (I copy/pasted that list from wikipedia. It’s a good website. Lots of facts). And he was not only a maker of popular films but also a celebrated craftsman, earning an Oscar nomination for Fatal Attraction, which was the second top grossing film of 1987 after _Three Men and a Baby. _

And yet, despite the box office success and film industry accolades, there’s a 20-year gap on his resume. After directing Unfaithful in 2002, he didn’t yell “cut” or “action” even once, presumably, until _Deep Water. _Hope he was having fun during his long holiday from Hollywood. Perhaps he spent some time with his brother, a classics scholar who died in 2005 (again, Wikipedia comes through with facts).