Growing out facial hair when the pressure’s on has been a thing for a long time in pro sports. Hockey players are notorious for this, sprouting questionable beards every spring once playoff season arrives.
Now the San Diego Padres have joined the facial hair fun, growing goatees to try and spark a new winning streak. It’s sort of fun to watch—with some guys, anyway—but the best thing about it is probably the snarky comments that go with this latest trend.
Outfielder Jackson Merrill and DH Gavin Sheets squared off in a snark battle about this, with the quips turning up in a piece from Dennis Lin of The Athletic.
“His is like a pencil,” Sheets said of Merrill’s, although they did manage to agree that the team’s best goatee to date belongs to hitting coach Victor Rodriguez, who wore his back in the day when the Cleveland Guardians’ nickname was an ethnic slur.
It beats the heck out of the New York Mets “rally sneaker” trick. Regretfully, this one is turning up among Met fans, who apparently have decided that rally caps don’t work. Instead, fans in the stands remove both sneakers when the Mets are faltering, which is an exercise in pollution and urban blight if ever there was one.
Okay, back to the Padres. Merrill started his back on September 6, and the Padres proceeded to rip off six wins in their next nine games. San Diego may need a new one after dropping two of three against the Mets, but then again, who needs facial hair when you’re playing the Chicago White Sox?
As is often the case with pro athletes, the trend is spreading, too. Reliever Mason Miller was an early participant in the goatee movement, and the me-too guys include bullpen coach Ben Fritz and first-base coach David Macias.
There are exceptions among the would-be followers, however. These include outfielders Fernando Tatis Jr. and Ramon Laureano, so there’s definitely a resistance movement afoot. The growth of this trend, literally and figuratively, will likely depend on how the Padres fare as they try to clinch a playoff berth.
“I’m an independent person,” infielder Jake Cronenworth quipped when asked about why he passed.
Another player who won’t be growing out a goatee is third baseman Manny Machado, who was once a baby-faced star with the Baltimore Orioles.
“I can barely grow facial hair, brah,” third baseman Manny Machado said. “You think I can grow a goatee?”