Riley O'Brien has enjoyed a career year by making the MLB All-Star team and tying for second in the big leagues in saves with 37. However, his numerous closing collapses in recent weeks wore on him mentally to the point he had to find somebody to talk to about it. Finally, he's found peace.
Unable to shake the feeling that he had let his team down time and again in recent weeks with host of blown saves, St. Louis Cardinals closer Riley O’Brien came to the realization that “I wasn’t in a very good spot,” and admittedly decided he needed someone to talk to about it.
However, few people in O’Brien’s life can actually relate to standing on a mound in the ninth inning of a tight game and knowing that any sort of wobble likely means the Cardinals go home losers. As close as he is with wife Chellyn, she can’t fully understand the predicament he often finds himself in late in games. The same goes for his parents, who are there with support, but can’t totally fathom what he feels when a game goes sideways.
On the heels of surrendering a two-run, game-turning homer to Randal Grichuk that cost the Cards a win on Saturday night, O’Brien finally approached veteran reliever Ryne Stanek and retreated to the Cards’ coaching staff – first, spending a lengthy amount of time in manager Oliver Marmol’s office and later bouncing ideas off pitching coach Dusty Blake.
“I wasn’t in a very good spot, and (Marmol) just told me that he’s got my back, and he’s going to be there with me the whole way,” O’Brien said after closing out the ninth inning in the Cardinals defeat of the Giants on Monday night. “It meant a lot. I know all these guys have my back, but it’s nice to hear it sometimes.”
Asked to elaborate on the feelings of inadequacy following his recent struggles, O’Brien compared his mental state to being something of a prisoner to his own negative thoughts. O’Brien considers himself to be an over-thinker at times, and he doesn’t always do a good job of letting others know when he is struggling mentally. In this instance, O’Brien said discussing the frustrations that have been pinging around in his head felt downright cathartic.
“I care about this so much,” O’Brien admitted. “Sometimes I think I about it a little too much, especially being in this role as a closer because it’s hard not to feel like it was all your fault and you let the whole team down.
“But you have to (move on). You can’t just keep beating yourself up every game or it’s going to spiral and you will put yourself in a bad spot. I’m glad I was able to have the conversations I did, and I feel like I will be in a good mental space the rest of the year regardless of what happens.”
Despite all the negative thoughts that have dominated O’Brien’s feelings of late, he is still enjoying the finest season of his baseball life. At 31, this is his first full season in the big leagues and already he has been a first-time All-Star and his 37 saves have him tied for second in MLB with superstar closer Mason Miller. His 63 appearances, 61 innings pitched and 62 strikeouts are all career highs – something that those on the Cardinals coaching staff tried to remind him about when he was struggling mentally after Saturday’s meltdown against the White Sox.
“I thought about this this afternoon, and you’re sitting there watching Albert (Pujols) and Yadi (Molina) in the Hall of Fame inductions and everybody is inspired by Yadi articulating that when things weren’t going well, (former Cardinals’ manager) Tony (La Russa) having his back,” Marmol said of the weekend’s ceremonies. “Twenty years later and we’re applauding a guy for plowing through times that we’re favorable and applauding them for sticking with (Molina) when offensively it wasn’t favorable.
“When you’re going through it, it doesn’t feel great and that’s what has happened with Riley. You have to have the kid’s back, you have to continue to put him out there and you have to learn from it in order for him to help us in the following years. It takes way more courage to sit there and stick with (O’Brien) than to bounce around with some of these other guys. But he’s done a helluva job. There’s going to be times when he gives it up, and that’s part of the job, but I’m proud of what he was able to do today (versus the Giants).”
As frustrated as he’s been about going 0-5 and just 13 of 17 in save opportunities since the All-Star break, O’Brien was proud of himself for continue to search for solutions. Extensive video work revealed some issues with his front leg in his delivery – something likely cause by fatigue or lax mechanics – that cost him velocity on his sinker and bite on his sweeper and slider. The velocity returned on Saturday night even in a loss and he saw positive results on Monday against San Francisco.
Finding someone to talk him through the dark days, he said, has been important. It is a lesson he can use in both baseball and life, he said.
“It’s tough to talk to anybody about (pitching troubles) and have them relate, so honestly, I’ve kept it in a lot, which is something else I can learn from,” O’Brien admitted candidly. “I need to be able to talk to people about it and get stuff out instead of letting things fester inside. That’s something I need to work on.”
