Jerry Jones 84th Birthday Gift? Owner Owes Cowboys Fans A Refund

FRISCO - Jerry Jones gave his team’s embarrassing loss last Thursday night proper lip service. Now, the Dallas Cowboys owner should put his money where his mouth is.

Don’t merely admit to disappointment. Offer a tangible discount - a "reverse birthday gift,'' if you will.

Following in the fiscally forthright footsteps of the State Fair of Texas, how about a free parking “make-good” to fans for the rest of the 2026 season? A rebate on the repulsiveness, if you will.

On this uncomfortably idle Sunday, the 2-3 Cowboys are likely pondering how to play better in the wake of the disastrous loss to the previously winless Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Likewise, Jerry’s creative mind should be scrambling in search of damage control.

For 30 years he’s overseen a Super Bowl drought. For 30 years he’s had to hear “Jerry the owner should fire Jerry the G.M.!” In 30 minutes, he could again become a champion to the fans.

On Friday the State Fair offered free parking to all customers. Imagine if Jerry gave the same, sweet deal to Cowboys fans. An olive branch of apology for another crap game in what is trending heavily toward another crap season.

By Forbes’ latest calculations, Jerry is worth $13 billion. He’s got enough to buy a helicopter, a 350-foot yacht and have enough left over to spend $1 million per day and not run out of money for … 35 years!

So, yeah, pretty sure he could absorb a “free parking” nick on his portfolio.

Average parking at AT&T Stadium costs $75. The Cowboys average about 92,000 fans per game, and there are approximately 25,000 cars parked at AT&T Stadium. They have six home games remaining this season.

Add it all up and that’s a total cost to Jerry of around $11 million. Considering his wealth, giving up $11 million to him is akin to the average Cowboys fan that makes $60,000 a year coughing up $50.

For positive publicity Jerry desperately needs, the “free parking” stunt would be worth every penny. The man who will turn 84 on Tuesday has said repeatedly he’d be willing to give up “everything” for another Super Bowl. Surely he’s pony up just $11 million to recalibrate his rapidly deteriorating legacy.

Of course, we both this will never happen. As he’s done since the last Super Bowl win in 1996, Jerry will continue to stack up the dollars while his Cowboys string together unsuccessful seasons.

Just because the Cowboys aren’t good doesn’t mean Jerry can’t “make-good.”