From scissor-wielding Hall of Famers to Jerry Jones’ stubborn contract standoffs, relive three decades of sideline chaos, locker room brawls, and the wildest scandals in franchise history.
OXNARD, Calif. - We're about to embark on what is for me my 37th Dallas Cowboys training camp ... and if only due to longevity, it figures that even a blind Fish would stumble across a couple of acorns.
Or something like that.
Since 1990, if it happened in an "America's Team'' summer, I've been there to chronicle it, as I am again this time around here in Oxnard, Calif.
So ... under the colorful leadership of Jerry Jones, it's about to happen again ... though this group of 2026 Cowboys will be challenged to make my Top 10 List of Cowboys Training Camp Tales ... a collection of "acorns'' that combines major news stories, hilarious quotes, dangerous behavior, and in the end, three Super Bowl wins in the 1990s.
To wit ...
10 - WHERE'S EMMITT? In the spring of 1993, as the Cowboys were prepping to defend their Super Bowl XXVII title, MVP and two-time league rushing champion Emmitt Smith told me he would be seeking "Quarterback Money'' in a new contract.
Jerry balked ... all the way into the regular season, when Dallas started 0-2. Charles Haley smashed his helmet into a locker-room-area wall in a symbolic protest against Jones' stubbornness ... and the owner relented.
After Emmitt had demanded a trade and threatened to retire, Jones gaver him a four-year, $13.6 million contract to make him the highest-paid running back in NFL history.
Quarterback Money.
9 - SWITZER'S PUNCH New head coach Barry Switzer felt under attack by the media, so he attacked iconic Channel 8 sports anchor Dale Hansen on live TV.
Switzer accused Hansen of “fabricating stories'' about what Hansen termed a “power struggle” amid assistants on the staff. (Hansen wasn't lying.)
As the former Oklahoma coach and Jones pal made each of his points, he either slapped at or outright punched Hansen’s shoulder and arm.
“This,'' quipped Hansen, "is starting to hurt a little bit.''
8 - UNKINDEST CUT Offensive lineman Everett McIver thought it was his turn to get a haircut. Team leader Michael Irvin - in what he later described to me as "a moment of temporary insanity'' - insisted it was his turn.
And in the conflict at the Wichita Falls camp ... Irvin grabbed a pair of scissors and swung, creating a wound in McIver's neck that would require 18 stitches.
7 - TUNA VS. 'THE PLAYER' Terrell Owens was immature. But in a way? So was Bill Parcells, who in 2006 opted to demonstrate his dissatisfaction with even having T.O. by refusing to call the future Hall-of-Famer by name.
"The Player,'' is how Parcells - himself also a future HOF'er - talked of Owens.
Owens spent so much time nursing injuries at camp by riding an exercise bike that one day he wore a Lance Armstrong yellow Tour de France jersey.
The coach didn't laugh. Little wonder that team never really bonded. And yes, it was as much the mercenary coach Parcells' fault as anybody's.
6 - QUINCY! In 2003, Dallas thought it finally had an acceptable replacement for the retired Troy Aikman as quarterback Quincy Carter helped the Cowboys to a 10-6 record and a playoff berth.
But in the shroud of a 2004 night, Carter left Oxnard ... and we soon learned that due to his substance-abuse problem, he was to be cut by the Cowboys.
5 - SHULA'S JAW The 1990 Cowboys were camping in Southern California and guys like Troy Aikman and Daryl Johnston? They were still kids, trying to find their way ... and a little bit of late-night fun.
But they were among a handful of fellas who missed curfew and were greeted by David Shula, who was the offensive coordinator. Shula - who didn't seem much older than the players themselves, and who also didn't have much gravitas - lectured and hooted and wagged his finger ...
And then Johnston took a swing at the famous Shula (Jr.) Jaw ... missing the coach but creating a hole in a hotel lobby wall.
Aikman and Johnston eventually made their marks in Dallas, as you know. Shula eventually opened a restaurant in Miami, or something.
4 - MICAH'S NAP Jerry and Micah Parsons thought they had a deal in the spring of 2025. Parsons' agent David Mulugheta disagreed. And thus began one of the most infamous (and infantile) contract protests of all-time, culminating in Parsons' decision to show up to a preseason game at AT&T Stadium ...
But not to play.
Instead, he walked up and down the tunnel eating pregame nachos. And once his teammates took the field, he chose to lie down atop a table and pretend to take a nap.
Parsons' theatrics worked. Shortly thereafter he was traded to the Packers.
A year later, the Cowboys remain desperate for a defensive stud like Micah Parsons. But it's gotta be somebody who doesn't sleep during games.
3 - JIMMY'S PRANK - AGAINST ME! It was August 1993, and I was in London with the team for a preseason game. My teammate Richie Whitt and I decided it couldn't hurt to skip just one meaningless walk-through practice in order to tour the city - once-in-a-lifetime, right?
Wrong.
When coach Jimmy Johnson realized we'd missed the workout, he put an army of Cowboys people into action - from Troy Aikman to Michael Irvin all the way up to Jerry Jones - to prank us.
He staged an elaborate and emotional scene in which cameras caught him railing against Jones' interference.
“I’m sick of this (expletive)!” Johnson yelled. “If I can’t have my best players, then his (expletive) can start coaching this team!!”
As a "favor'' to Whitt and me - once we ambled back to the team hotel - a Channel 4 cameraman showed us the video.
Oh my God! Our newspaper sent us all the way to London and we'd missed the story of the summer!
We scrambled. Called sources. Got confirmation. And very quickly wrote a story that would appear in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram in a few hours.
And then we got summoned to Jimmy's hotel room.
“How was your vacation, ladies?!” he taunted. “Gotcha! ... I bet you won’t miss any more of my walk-throughs, huh?''
It was a fake. A flattering (the great "Jimmy Jenius'' noticed us?!) fake.
2 - FALL FROM GRACE This is my answer to those who think, "The Cowboys should've won six straight Super Bowls!''
In the summer of 1997, Irvin was just a year removed from a felony conviction, Nate Newton was accused of sexual assault, Erik Williams was served with a paternity suit and Leon Lett was suspended 13 games for failing a drug test ... and by the time the Cowboys left St. Edward’s University in Austin, players had trashed the place.
Guys get old. Tired. Bored. Arrogant. Whatever. Three Super Bowl wins in four years will simply have to do.
1 - 'GLORY HOLE!' In 2012, Jerry launched into his annual "State of the Union Address" by explaining just how much he craves Super Bowl success.
“I want me some glory hole!” he exclaimed.
What does that phrase mean to most people? (I'll let you look it up, but don't allow the kiddies to peek over your shoulder.)
What does that phrase mean to Jerry? Team PR boss Rich Dalrymple tried to keep a straight face by swearing that "glory hole'' is a well-known oil-drilling phrase.
But Jerry wouldn't play along.
"Oh?'' Jones said. “That’s news to me.”
And to this day, I've unbendingly called the annual "State of the Union Address" the "Annual Glory-Hole Press Conference.''
