Dak opened hot, the defense folded, and the Cowboys let Justin Herbert carve them up like it was a 7-on-7 drill.
If you were still squinting hard enough to see some positives from these Dallas Cowboys, Sunday should take care of that.
The Cowboys waddled into AT&T Stadium at 6-7-1 with their season on life support and walked out 6-8-1, already eliminated from playoff contention thanks to Philly clinching the NFC East the day before and a 34-17 reality check from Justin Herbert and the Chargers.
For about two drives, it looked promising.
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Dak Prescott opened like a franchise quarterback with something to prove, tossing touchdown passes on his first two possessions. A 5-yarder to Ryan Flournoy and a 38-yard strike to George Pickens - who suddenly remembered he can actually play receiver - staked Dallas to early hope.
Then the defense showed up. Or, more accurately, didn’t.
Matt Eberflus' grand move from the sideline to the coaching booth was supposed to spark a beleaguered unit. Instead, Herbert went 23-of-29 for 300 yards and three total touchdowns, calmly torching Dallas at a season-best 79 percent completion clip.
The Chargers racked up 452 total yards, another season high.
This is the same LA offense that couldn't crack 300 yards in Herbert's previous two games with a busted non-throwing hand. So naturally, the Chargers did it with ease against the Cowboys.
Quentin Johnston, back in his old TCU neighborhood, made Dallas' secondary look like a bad Big 12 rerun with four catches, 104 yards and a 23-yard score. Ladd McConkey added a 25-yard touchdown, and when the Chargers wanted to really rub it in, Herbert ran a modified tush push at the goal line and powered in himself.
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Even when Dallas got a rare stop in the second half, Herbert responded on the next drive by slipping out of Kenneth Murray's grasp and sprinting 33 yards on third-and-7, setting up a field goal that pushed the lead to 27-17 and effectively shut the door.
The Cowboys' injuries - DeMarvion Overshown's concussion, Cooper Beebe's brief exit - were just garnish on another already-cooked season.
Brian Schottenheimer's first year will end the way the last few regimes have with a brief flirtation with competence, followed by a losing streak when it matters most and another January spent watching someone else play meaningful football.
Washington is next for the Cowboys as we all begin to evaluate possible draft picks for Dallas' run at the 2026 postseason.